Total Drama: Desperate Dating
by safetyisuniversal
Summary: "Are you a single Canadian between the ages of 18 and 35? Are you looking for love in all the wrong places? Are you willing to humiliate yourself on national television in order to find it?" Chris McLean is hosting an all new reality dating competition show, with the prize being the arm of a certain Total Drama Alumni.
1. Chapter 1

Picture this:

It's 9PM on a Tuesday night. You're a single Canadian between the ages of 18 and 35. The lights are off, you're eating a bag of ketchup chips alone in your living room while CTV plays a rerun of MasterChef. You've seen the episode before, but you can't quite remember who wins. So you continue to watch, but not with as much interest as you would a brand new episode. They cut to commercial, and you're about to sneak away to go to the washroom. But suddenly you hear a familiar voice, and it halts you from leaving right away.

"Are you a single Canadian between the ages of 18 and 35?"

You are, so it holds your attention. You even a nod a little bit, as if to prompt the prerecorded Chris McLean to go on.

"Are you looking for love in all the wrong places? Are you willing to humiliate yourself on national television in order to find it?"

You nod again. You've definitely humiliated yourself in public to impress a crush before, and you've always wanted to be on TV.

"Then visit our website to upload your audition for the first season of our brand new reality show Total Drama: Desperate Dating!" Chris instructs. "We're looking for ten lucky singles to compete on our show for a chance at love, and other prizes along the way. If you've got what it takes, you could win the whole thing, and the heart of our Total Drama alumni, Cody."

Cody?! You'd had a crush on him when the first season of Total Drama aired. But he was 16 then. He was 26 now. And according to the headshot next to Chris' head, he'd aged quite nicely.

You put down the chips, and you swallow your pride. You pull out your laptop, or maybe your iPhone, and head to CTV's website to start working on your application. What's the worst that could possibly happen?

* * *

Hello my friends! Applications can be found on my profile, and will ONLY be accepted via PM. I'm currently looking for 10 OCs but there's no limit for how many you send in! The first 10 characters I receive that are diverse, interesting and mesh well for a fun story together will be accepted, but I'm very picky-and-choosey, just because you're first to submit a character doesn't necessarily mean I'll accept your character. It's the first 10 quality characters that are different from each other in the right ways to have an interesting chemistry that will be accepted. Have fun an be creative!


	2. Chapter 2

Unlike Wawanakwa, the set for the dating show was gorgeous. A beautiful mansion with sleek silver siding and large, modern windows sat in front of a pool with delicious turquoise waters illuminated with LED lighting, with steam from the nearby hot tub rolling in. Chris mentally thanked the producers for choosing to shoot this in the summer, to air in the winter. The mansion was guarded with a gold plated gate, the grounds having been kept meticulously groomed.

Upon getting his cue, Chris flashed the camera his most charming smile. "Welcome, to Total Drama: Desperate Dating! Unlike our previous seasons, we decided to mix things up a little bit. Long gone are the shared cabins and meal hall food. And long gone is the voting out process! We aren't playing for money this year. No, this year, we're playing for _looooove_."

The scene panned inside to a large, open kitchen. Marble countertops with white leather bar stools were surrounded by a modern kitchen with just about any utensil you could dream of. Clearly, Chef Hatchet wasn't going to be handing out the grool that Total Drama fans had come to expect this time around. "10 young, single Canadians will soon be arriving to this swanky mansion. Where they will live, play, and all fight for the love of one very lucky Total Drama alum."

With a wink, the scene changed once more. This time, Chris was in one of the 12 bedrooms set up in the mansion, a spacious living area complete with a queen sized bed and large vanity in the opposite corner. "Each week, our remaining contestants will start with a mini challenge. The winner of that mini challenge earns a cash prize, and also ears an advantage on date night."

The scene changed once again, this time to the pool area. While the beautiful water itself was probably the item most eyes were drawn to, an interior designer might catch a bit more, like sound system that was pumping in party music, or the streams of lanterns hanging as lighting fixtures. "Date nights are our contestant's chance to impress our alumni, Cody." Chris continued to explain. "Each will be a fun and exciting new location, with twists and turns provided by yours truly. The contestant that impresses Cody the least-"

Suddenly, Chris was standing inside to a stylish living room, complete with multiple couches and chairs all facing one direction, the direction facing the camera. "-will face the music here, and will be eliminated from the competition. In the end there will only be two left standing, and only one can win the heart of our alumni."

Standing back outside the mansion, Chris smiled directly into the camera. "So what has Cody been up to after all these years? And who are the lucky Canadians who get to fight over him? All this and more will be revealed - after the commercial break!"

* * *

 **AN: Hey guys! Just wanted to make a quick intro chapter to**

 **a) explain the competition a little bit better**

 **and**

 **b) let you know that there are currently only 4 spots available.**

 **A reminder that the form for characters can be found on my profile, and that I'm looking for a diverse, interesting group of characters. If you have any additional questions, feel free to PM me, and I'll do my best to answer in a timely matter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Hello hello hello welcome to the first chapter! Now, these are JUST the intros, I'm currently working on the second half of the "episode" which will hopefully be posted within the week. However, part of the reason I refrained from posting it all at once was to get some feedback from those of you who's characters made it in to the story. Which of the other contestants does your character like? Which do they dislike? These first interactions are going to really build a relationship with ALL the contestants, and while I do have a couple of plot points in mind, I'm more than happy to take suggestions!**  
 **And in the future, the whole "episode" WILL be posted at once. This one time was an outlier.**

* * *

When CTV came back from it's commercial break, Chris McLean was still standing out in front of the mansion. "Welcome back to Total Drama: Desperate Dating! And just who are we so desperate date? Long time Total Drama viewers will remember his name, and now it's time to be reintroduced to his face. Welcome back - Cody!"

The young man strutted into the frame with all the confidence of someone who'd won the lottery, but it was also blatantly obvious to the viewers at home that he was just as awkward and uncool as he'd been ten years ago. "Chris McLean! Great to see ya, man!"

Cody had gone in for a fist bump, but Chris left him hanging. "So, Cody, the viewing world hasn't seen you in a decade or so. Why not tell them all what you've been up to?"

"Oh, you know." Cody gave a shrug "Finished high school, finished university, got a 9-5 desk job. Won a donut from Roll Up The Rim. Regular life stuff."

"Not if you're a handsome TV host like me." Chris chided with a sly wink. Turning his attention away from Cody and back to the cameras, he proposed "Now that we've been reacquainted with Cody, let's meet the 10 lucky Canadians who've decided to fight for his heart." Both Chris and Cody turned their heads as a white limo arrived, the first contestant - with bleach blonde hair in a pixie cut, wearing plaid over a black tank top and jean shorts. "And there's the first one now!"

The scene cut, to said contestant doing a talking head moment the name ROSS appearing underneath in large white writing over a red rectangle. "I'm Ross, I'm 28 years old, and I'm a forensic analyst from Halifax, Nova Scotia, though I have lived in Germany for a good portion of my young adult life. I haven't really dated much since my husband passed, so this is a pretty cool way to get back in the game."

Back in front of the mansion, Ross was walking towards the host and the man she'd be fighting to date. "Ross!" Chris grinned enthusiastically. "Welcome to the show. You're the first contestant to arrive, which means you get to make the first impression of any of our contestants on our bud Cody over here."

Ross reached over, a smile plastered over her face already, primed to shake Cody's hand "You've aged well."

Cody shook her hand, a bemused smile crossing his lips "Uh, thanks. I think."

"It was a compliment." she promised.

Chris cleared his throat "Ahem! Ross, we'll have one of our interns help you set up inside. You get first pick of the bedrooms. The other contestants will be along shortly, and then the real party can start."

As Ross was ushered off the lawn and into the mansion, another limo pulled up. This time, not two, but four feet exited the vehicle. As two gorgeous women, both shorter with beautiful brown hair and big brown eyes walked out, the scene on TV cut to their talking heads.

"I'm Tia." the shorter of the two spoke

"And I'm Mia." the taller of the two added. "And we're 23 years old, and are cheerleaders for the Toronto Raptors."

Tia spoke again "We're already the most followed girls on the squad on all social media, so we figured it was the perfect way to take our celebrity to new heights!"

"We're trying to launch our own lip gloss line." Mia chirped.

It cut from their talking head to their arrival, Tia striding past Chris and straight to Cody with a confident demeanor, Mia happily skipping behind her. "Mia and Tia!" Chris cried, clearly a little miffed that Tia had walked right past him.

"Cody, is it?" Tia asked, raising an eyebrow. "I look forward to spending some one on one time. Or two on one time, if you know what I mean." she winked suggestively.

Mia, still skipping in behind her sister, beamed "It's a lotta fun!"

Cody's cheeks now a bright red, Chris ushered the twins away, gesturing back towards the driveway. "And that would be our next contestant!"

The woman leaving the limo was even shorter than the two cheerleaders who'd arrived earlier. She donned a Harry Potter t shirt with high waisted red shorts, outfit tied together with black knee high converse. Her hair, black and curly, was pulled into a high pony, framing her heart shaped face, her skin the colour of a well blended mocha.

In an instant, her talking head appeared onscreen "I'm Adeline, but you can call me Addie. Most people do. I'm 21 years old, from Montreal, Quebec, and I'm a phlebotomist."

There was a pause, as the producer on the other side of the camera asked "What does that mean?"

Addie deadpanned "A phlebotomist draws blood from patients' veins."

Back on the mansion set, Chris introduced "This is Addie!"

"Chris, is it?" she questioned "I didn't realize you'd actually be here for this series."

"I don't get paid if I don't show up!" he chirped.

Chris' chirping largely went ignored by Cody, who was stretching his hand out for Addie to shake. "It's great to meet you."

For the first time since stepping out of the limo, Addie's lips twitched upwards into a smile, as she replied "It's nice to meet you, too. You look cuter in real life than you do on TV."

Cody laughed awkwardly, moving his free hand to nervously scratch at his neck "Well, I also haven't been on TV in several years sooo…"

"Move it along!" Chris yelped as another limo pulled up. "As we welcome our next contestant…." he paused, squinting at the teleprompter. Suddenly, he leaned into the camera, asking the producer behind the cameraman "Is this some kind of joke?"

Small pale feet in tall black heels popped out of the car, revealing a woman with long red hair wearing a light blue dress. Despite Chris' stuttering protests, it cut to her talking head. "I'm Madison, I'm 27, and I'm a social media manager from Ottawa, Ontario. A lot of people say love is dead, and that you won't find a man who's not looking for something casual, but I'm hoping to prove them all wrong."

She smiled politely, wheeling her rolling suitcase behind her, nodding at the host with a cordial greeting of "Chris."

"Madison." he sneered, eyes narrowing as she walked past.

She paused, turning back towards him, humming lightly before suggesting "You might want to smile more, with the cameras rolling, and everything. I'd hate for an unflattering image of you to surface before the show even airs."

"Of course you would." Chris rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest.

Cody raised an eyebrow "You two...know each other?"

"You could say that." Chris offered vaguely, clear from his tone that he was still very peeved by the redhead's presence.

"Never mind him," Madison waved a hand dismissively in Chris' face, causing the host to let out a small ' _hey!'_ that went entirely ignored. "I'm here to make a connection, if you'll let me."

Cody smiled "Yeah, yeah I'd like that."

"I'd like it if you could GET THIS GIRL OFF MY SET!" Chris screamed, as Madison was quickly ushered into the house.

Luckily for Chris, another limo pulled up. A tall woman with long brown hair wearing a blue mini dress hopped out, gleefully skipping over to where the two men stood as her talking head appeared "Hey there! I'm Mila, and I'm a 20 year old barista and aspiring singer slash actress from Toronto! Cody was one of my first crushes growing up, he was clearly the romantic type even as a teenager. And what's a Romeo without his Juliet? I mean, if he hadn't died."

Finally, the girl landed in front of Chris and Cody. "Oh my gosh, Chris McLean, it is such an honour to meet you," she gushed, shaking his hand aggressively. But then she gasped, spinning around to Cody, shaking his hand aggressively "And. Oh. My. Goodness. Cody. Getting to see you in real life! I can't even!"

"Can't even what?" He asked, though he was laughing lightly. Albeit, the laughter was from nervousness, not that Mila noticed.

"Can't even deal!" she squealed happily. "Oh my gosh, I can't wait to get to know you better. And I can't wait for you to get to know me!"

"And I can't wait," Chris interrupted "To meet our next contestant! So skeedaddle!"

"I can't believe they're making me open the door by myself…" the girl whined, dragging her feet as she slammed the door shut.

It then cut to her talking head, a blonde girl in a fluffy pink sweater and white mini skirt introduced "Hi, I'm Linda, I'm 22 years old, and I'm still a student in Kelowna, BC."

"Hi," she introduced again, waving at both Chris and Cody "I'm Linda."

"Hi Linda!" Cody smiled "I'm Cody. it's nice to meet you."

"Oh, you're so nice, not like that meanie cab driver." she pouted, but threw herself into Cody's torso, expecting some kind of embrace.

Cody, trying his best to be a gentleman, laughed awkwardly "I'm sorry he gave you a hard time."

"Everyone gives me a hard time," she whined, though her expression changed, eyes shining as she murmured "Except you."

"Heh heh," Cody couldn't mask his discomfort any longer. "Hey, Chris? Any chance we got another limo pulling up?"

"We sure do!"

The next contestant almost looked like a Christmas candy, a red and white checkered blouse with a red pencil skirt, red and white shoes and her hair a chocolate brown. In her talking head, she smiled "I'm Oswin, I'm 24, I'm originally from Bath, England, but I've been living in Toronto as an au pair for the last five years."

She walked up towards the men, and upon seeing Cody's face in real life, tripped and face planted onto the walkway. "Oof," Chris snickered. "That's gotta hurt."

"Oh my gosh," Cody gasped, glancing downwards. "Are you okay?"

"I'm alright!" she promised with a giggle as she pulled herself up. "I hope it's my smile you remember, and not my tumble."

"For your sake, I hope so too." Chris chided, before turning his attention away from the girl who was moving into the mansion, and to the next vehicle. "And we've got ourselves another girl!"

Perhaps "girl" was the wrong statement. The person who exited the vehicle, was tall, broad shouldered, and was wearing a white evening gown. Her hair was done up, and she appeared to be at least forty. However, in her talking head, she stated otherwise. "I'm Hortense, I'm 35 years old, and I'm a hostess at the Swiss Chalet in Moncton, New Brunswick! Some people think having a big age difference is a problem in a relationship, whereas I see it as an opportunity."

Behind the camera, a producer asked "An opportunity to what?"

She didn't respond, other than giving the camera a cheeky wink.

Back on the set, Chris raised an eyebrow skeptically "You're 35?"

"Says so right here on my driver's license!" she grinned, flashing the card so quickly in Chris' face that it would have been impossible for him to read anything. "Now where's my cute little Codykins?"

"Codykins?" Cody chuckled awkwardly. "We'll have to work on that nickname. I'm not a big fan."

Pinching his cheeks, Hortense grinned "Well, we'll have plenty of time to cross the bridge after I win." she gave his cheek a pat, rolling her suitcase into the mansion asking "Now where can a young lady like myself get a martini around this joint?!"

Cody shuddered, and Chris gestured to the limo pulling up. "Last but certainly not least!"

"This is the last one?" Cody questioned, before breathing a sigh of relief "Thank goodness."

"Wow, rude." came the voice of a taller woman, with ridiculously long brown hair that cascaded over her green flannel that sat atop her black tanktop, the look pulled together with black skinny jeans and grey converse. As she took off a pair of aviator sunglasses and sat them in her hair, the show cut to her talking head. "Sup? Name's Auden, I'm a 23 years, old from Iqaluit, and I'm a messy slut who likes fried chicken and big d-" the word got bleeped out, as she then shrugged an added "But if you're asking what I do for financial security, I'm a bartender."

"Auden!" Chris cried, gesturing towards her.

Auden stuck her face in Chris' personal bubble, asking "So, what you're networth?"

Pushing her out of the way, Chris responded "It's none of your beeswax."

Rolling her eyes with a shrug, she moved closer to Cody, eyes travelling up and down before she stated "I guess you're not horrid to look at. Hope you're hung, my dude."

Cody's eyes widened, as he turned to Chris, asking "Can she say that on TV?"

"That's for our producers to worry about!" Chris beamed. Speaking of which, he turned back to the cameras "Now that all of our contestants have arrived, it's time to have ourselves a little Kiki. We'll be right back on Total! Drama! Desperate Dating!"


End file.
